Going back to the basics

It's no surprise to anyone that I've had my fair share of struggles here. It's been so hot, the water in the apartment is rarely running, I have no car to get groceries, and even if I wanted to drive, they drive on the opposite side here which intimidates me, and the list goes on and on and on. But I have friends, and I have two feet, and the temperature broke recently so I slept under my covers last night for the first time, and I'm on holiday, and I traveled to Maun for an awesome week with an awesome friend, so I'm staying positive, having a good time, and so appreciative for this incredible opportunity to learn, grow, and explore while being surrounded by some really great people.

What may be a surprise to some is that I've been beating myself up for not putting New Zealand or Finland as my top choice for the Fulbright. New Zealand is top in the world for integrating culture into the curriculum (think Maori schools) and Finland is top in the world in education. Obviously those should have been my top pics. Obviously those are everyone's top pics. It even says so on the list of countries to choose from. So I stayed away. I chose Botswana. I didn't even put myself out there for anything else because I did not think I had a chance. And I was angry at myself for awhile.

And then I realized as I sat in schools here where there is no technology, not even a plug-in for a CD player for music, and a large chalkboard at one end of the room and plastic tables and chairs that take up the entire classroom because class sizes are huge here: I am going back to the basics of teaching.

           And I knew I must observe classroom

through that lens.

And then I read a fellow Fulbright teacher's blog. And she brought everything full circle for me. And she is an incredible writer and her blog is incredible. And she's from Fairbanks, Alaska, which obviously means she's incredible. Here is the blog post:

http://www.nicolestellon.com/what-we-cant-learn-from-finland-apples-oranges-and-denial-in-the-us-educational-community/

In the arctic, we do not have every resource at our disposal at the moment we need it. Although we have so many more resources there than here, in order to start integrating culture into the everyday curriculum we must go back to the basics. 

And that's exactly where I am.

An incredible day

We got running water in our apartment for the first time since Thursday today. And it is Wednesday.

But that is not why today was an incredible day.

I went to the US Ambassador's house for a teacher networking reception and met up with Neo from Maun, met teachers doing cool things across the country, arranged to visit more schools in Gaborone, and took pictures with the ambassador.

And that is not why today was an incredible day.

I also met the regional director of Gaborone schools and discussed doing a workshop benefitting 30-60 primary teachers across Gaborone next month.

And that is not why today was an incredible day.

I went over to a friend's house for dinner. Her (southern) husband made homemade fried chicken, six cheese macaroni and cheese, and sweet tea for dinner. It was incredible.

And that still is not why today was an incredible day.

Today, I learned that all my students in kindergarten passed all of their winter benchmarks.

And that makes today absolutely incredible. 

What are benchmarks, you may be asking? In kindergarten, each student takes assessments three times a year to track their progress throughout the year. These assessments range from naming letter names and sounds to identifying numbers and more. Each assessment has target numbers, or benchmarks, to show that students are where they need to be in order to be prepared for their next grade.

All of the my students did incredibly well.

So obviously that is great, but why does it make my teacher dance in circles?

Because this means Helen (my teacher aide) and I have worked hard to lay down a foundation for learning in our classroom. This means students know in kindergarten they come to school to have fun, learn, and work hard. This means that while I have been here, Helen was able to continue instilling this philosophy in their young minds and hearts and they were continue to excel. I am so proud of them. And Helen too. And they are in good hands with a good teacher.

I am so overwhelmed with joy right now. I miss them. I miss them so much. And I miss my little world in Point Hope beyond words. But it is such an amazing feeling to know that the foundation has been laid and my little babies are continuing to grow and excel into successful students.

And as it turns out, they miss me a little too :)

Taking shape

Well it's been almost a month here, and I must say - things move slow. With that being said, things are starting to fall into place. Slowly. But they are falling. And taking shape. And it feels good.

My advisor is my saving grace. I have an office with an air conditioner. I have a proposal that has just been submitted to the Office of Research and Development. When (if) they approve it, I will be able to officially do research in schools in Botswana - well in the areas I asked permission for. I will also be able to extend my visa past the 85 days I have been allotted here. I have visited two schools and a teacher training school. She has held me accountable for everything, pushed my limits, and made me shape my research. She is going to hold me to designing workshops for reception (4 turning 5 year olds) teachers which I am excited about, and she is going to make sure I spend as much time observing schools as possible. It. is. happening.

Hanging out in my 'cool' office... literally!

I feel like by May I will be tired. And that's a good thing.

So about this research...

I am researching how teachers integrate local culture into the everyday curriculum. My school district makes me want to scream because it pats itself on the back when teachers do a two week whale unit or a unit on patterns for a parka. While these units are great, culture is not something to be integrated for two weeks here and two weeks there. Culture is a living, breathing, everyday thing, and it should be recognized as such: everyday. 

I have been reading a lot about culturally relevant pedagogy and Gloria Ladson-Billings. She wrote a paper titled something like 'But That's Just Good Teaching,' and after studying African American teachers and students, she identified best practices that many teachers would say 'well yeah...' too. But these practices are the practices teachers often are forced to overlook due to teaching to the test or the pressure to meet the 90 minutes of literature and 60 minutes of math time mandated by school districts.

I have a feeling that is what's going to happen with my research. Nothing life-altering will be discovered, but I will be forced to recognize and remember the best practices that great teachers put into place (thankfully!). Bringing the culture of the children in the classroom to life through various way like singing, dancing, etc. I am not sure, but as I gather more thoughts and read more research (not practice yet - that starts Monday!), this is my prediction. We will see what happens... I hope to spend Feb/March/April gathering the research and May analyzing it and seeing how it would look in classrooms throughout rural Alaska.

Let the research begin!

And here's some pics:

All dressed up for dinner at the Deputy Chief of Mission of the US Embassy's house. Forgot to take a real pic of course...

My first springbok shot! (I only took 1 I promise!)

Even Batswana loves Kanye like Kanye loves Kanye

I'm ALL OUT! Already looking forward to June and placing my next order. So delicious! If you are need of some downright deliciousness, ask me about this granola. It's in-cred-ible. So incredible it had to come with me here :) 

Bringing back the '80s. My typical look these days...

Still missing this crazy dog so much. Love her and all of her craziness :) 

A hurting heart

As I type, my family and some of my friends are preparing to make the trip out to Winnsboro, South Carolina. They are getting dressed in their black and completing their outfit with a few tears, as today is the day when they will say their final goodbye to Jenni Caldwell Sharpe. Jenni was my cousin's husband, Heath's, sister. An interesting fact about me: I have two cousins: Shannon and Devin. When I go home for Christmas and summer, I stay with Shannon and Heath and their son, Tripp. Heath's parents often pop over to take care of Tripp or just say hi when they'd been out running errands, and we'd all sit and chat about SC, Alaska, and small babies.

I was not close with Jenni, but we have hung out a few times at various things. I have lived outside of SC for far too long to really gain new friendships there. She did everything to perfection, and everyone loved her for it. She always smiled, loved all things monogrammed, and absolutely adored her cute little son, John Ryan. I can still hear the excitement in her voice when she would talk about him. She was one of those people everyone liked and she cared for everyone as well...

I remember when she first got sick. Almost every conversation I had with Shannon after that included updates on Jenny. I knew she was sick; I just don't think I realized how sick. In my world, we live in a day and age where people my age beat cancer. They don't succumb to it. We have technology! And while everyone at first seemed a little scared, everyone also seemed so positive. And then she rang the bell, and everyone rejoiced. She had beat it. Whatever it was, it was done. Whew. We were so happy. We were all ready to move forward. And then Christmas day, something happened. And we learned it was not really gone.

And we were still positive.

I had no doubt Jenni would beat this again. She did everything right. She prayed at night (well all day really), she asked people to prayer for her, she has a loving, caring husband and is mom to a 2.5 year old that she can't just be taken away from. So when my mom told me that Jenni had died as I sat here about to go to sleep in Botswana, the world around me crumbled. None of it made sense. None of it still makes sense.

And my heart hurts. My heart hurts for everyone she leaves behind. For her mom and dad who should never have to go through this. For her husband who will struggle each day to find himself without her. For her son who will not remember just how lovely his mom truly was, or just how much she adored him. For Heath, who will want to call her up and can no longer hear his sister's voice whenever he wants... after being able to do so almost all of his life.

And my heart hurts for my cousin. It is so hard to know someone you care about deeply and love is hurting... and there is nothing you can do. Death is something you lean on everyone for, but it is still very personal and a time when you must work through the feeling to be able to move on. I wish I could be there, but she is strong and knows that Jenni had a great life. It still hurts though.

So, as I said on facebook, but this time without the picture, I will say again...

If you could say a little prayer today, send some love, whisper into your pillow, hug someone a little tighter, whatever you do to send sweet, loving thoughts into the world...

The girl to the left is my beautiful cousin Shannon Wilson Caldwell and next to her is her husband's sweet, kind, strong, loving sister, Jenni Caldwell Sharpe. Jenni unexpectedly lost a hard fought battle to cancer yesterday. This was something I never saw coming because everyone was always so positive and her strong family was so proactive with treatments, taking care of each other, smiles, etc. Her passing is a vivid reminder that life is precious, family is incredible, and love is abundant.

Prayers, hugs, love go out to all of the Caldwell (and I should add Sharpe) family.

Oh the stages...

So I'm starting to feel like a self-help book. Like I'm going through all the different stages one goes through when moving to a place completely opposite from what they know and love. I like I am finally in the 'acceptance' stage, if that really exists. My body may be adjusting to the temperature a little, I can sleep throughout the night only waking up one or two times, I know where to buy food I like and feel comfortable eating, and I have clean clothes to wear. These are all very good things.

I have met with my advisor multiple times and she is really great. She is eager to work with me and is beyond helpful. It is good to finally feel like things are starting to fall into place. I am beginning to realize while I thought I would be doing a lot of traveling and sight seeing, I am pretty sure these five months are going to be more research related than I thought. This idea excites me, and makes me grateful for the three week safari I went on in July. Since I have seen and done a lot of what there is to do in Botswana, I am ready to be focused on why I came here. I am sure I will travel plenty, but I came here to research, study, and write, and I'm happy to think I'm going to be given ample time to do all of that.

So... all that being said, this is what I have decided. I can no longer focus on the things I do not have: running water all the time (it cuts in and out, you never know when you will have it), air conditioner, my boyfriend, my puppy, my students, a washing machine, and more, I must start focusing on all that I will gain. And not only gain, I hope to work with teachers and leave a lot in return. I am excited for expectations and routine. I think I'm ready.

PS - Let it be noted that my stomach is NOT in the acceptance stage. Baby steps my friends!

First week in Gaborone

Looking back all I can say is wow. It's been quite a ride since I posted. And I wish I had posted more...

Life has changed a bit for me. My tales are no longer from the tundra for now. At the moment, I am sitting in a dorm room in Gaborone, Botswana sweating. Adele plays on the background and a fan circulates hot air around my room. My room is half the one I left in Point Hope, complete with a twin bed, desk, closet, and two bulletin boards reminding me I am back on campus. I share a kitchen and bathroom with five other people. And while I have been too hot to concentrate on anything but the sweat rolling down my body, I did write this last night about my first week here:

I miss pulling the covers up under my chin and feeling tucked in before drifting to sleep. I miss my dog instinctively knowing I'm getting ready for bed and jumping on my spot waiting to play and laugh one more time before the day ends. I miss sitting on my piano bench and bringing picture books to life as my students sit on their square on the rug eagerly waiting for me to turn the page. I miss my students laughter. I miss turning on the water facet and knowing water will flow. I miss the air conditioner. I miss my couch - sitting on one end, my dog in the middle, and the man I loved for four years sitting on the other end. How often would I gaze down at the three of us and smile knowing at that very moment, all was right in the world.

I miss so much about my little life in Point Hope. Everything made sense. And yet here I am. And I struggle. A lot. But I keep going because this part is not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to challenge me in ways I didn't think possible. It's supposed to challenge my thoughts, ground my values, and help me reflect on who I am as a teacher, researcher, and person. And so I write, from a dark, hot room with tears coming down, to tell you I am not ready. I still long for so much only the Arctic can provide. But this is going to start with or without me, and I refuse to let this part of my so-called life leave me behind.

So here goes nothing.

the man, the crazy dog, and the ice i left to come sweat and learn.

My goodbye to the south... landing in Atlanta before
boarding a plane to Johannesburg.

Kate (the other Fulbrighter here with me in Gabs) and I in the airport in Jo-burg. After 15+ hours on the flight, we are looking (and feeling!) good, right?! Get us to Botswana!

At a hash event (will explain more later) where I voluntarily ran (walked!) a 5k
in the hot, hot heat for cold beers afterwards :) 

Mustard in a stein is delicious!

More to come on my daily life here. Life is getting more routine here and the heat is residing a tiny bit (or maybe my body is adjusting) and I know the closest place to buy South African wine, so let the writing begin!

Top of the World

The view from the top is a bit chilly for August, I must admit.

Seeing that it's 11:42 and I have to be up at 6:30, I should be sleeping - but the light keeps pouring through my window. Jeffrey Foucoult plays in the background and my heart aches for all of you. Once again I find myself mixing the nervous excitement feelings with the pain of missing all who have affected my life.

Today was the Polar Plunge. I must admit it was way warmer than I had anticipated. It was freezing, don't get me wrong, but my brain had mentally prepared my body for something way worse. About ten of us ran a few feet into the water and head dived in to receive our certificate and badge. It was a chilly ten seconds. We ran in almost as fast as we ran out... and then the pictures started. We had done it!